Mohammed and his brides

This is not my poem. It was written by a genius friend of mine called Anton, or Seuss for short. I simply have to share it with the world as he lives in a glass jar amongst the trees and fairies and somewhere I have never been to but would love to go…

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Whoever the hell you are

I thought about you the other day

I scripted your jawbone

In my almanac of disasters

And there you were

Waving from under the palm trees

The suntan cream on your noise

Grinning like an urang utang

In a red bikini

A book of your own poetry

Lying beside the corpses

Of mohammed and his brides.

Debora Patta’s 3rd Degree.

 

First published in the Callsheet May 2010-05-30

3^rd Degree’s anchor and executive producer Debora Patta is a bit like Marmite; you either love or hate her. 

 She is as often criticized for her interview style as she is praised for her tenacity.  Her current affairs show pulls in around 1,9million viewers per night.  After a decade of exposing corruption, racism, sexism, nepotism, and most other negative isms, the show is as strong as ever.  On Tuesday 11 May, e.tv screened a special edition of 3^rd Degree that looked back on ten years of investigative journalism. “It is part of our decade celebrations,” says Patta. “We also had a media breakfast on Tuesday morning and then a team lunch.  We were actually going to take Wednesday off but an important interview with Bheki Cele changed the plans. Work comes first.”

Patta says it was towards the end of 1999 that she first started toying with the idea of a current affairs show.  “I just had my first child and did not like the idea of coming back to do only news,” she recalls. “I wanted to do a current affairs program with a difference.  The vision was that of an investigative show which asks difficult questions and also comprises of a tough interview segment.”  She pitched her idea to channel director, Quraysh Pattel.  He liked it and in 2000 3^rdDegree aired for the first time.

Patta was a political activist in Cape Town’s squatter camps during the 80’s while she was working on her Bachelor of Social Sciences at the University of Cape Town.  She has been an investigative journalist for 20 years and has won category awards in the CNN African Journalist Awards, Checkers Woman Of The Year and the Vodacom Women In The Media Award, among others.  “Every year 3^rd Degree, or one of our team members, win an award,” says Patta. “I would say in total we win three to four awards per year which would add up to around thirty awards in the last decade.”  One such award is that of producer Anna-Maria Lombard who won the CNN MultiChoice African Journalist of the Year Award for HIV/Aids reporting.

“People are often not aware of the other team members behind the scenes.” says Patta. “I have a very strong team and they work incredibly hard.  It’s great to work with such talented people.  It makes my job much easier and so much more exciting.”  Patta says that their current team consist or around twelve people, which is only slightly larger than the team that created 3^rd Degrees first episodes.

How does one qualify a most memorable interview after two decades of reporting?  “As a journalist it is difficult to remember beyond your last interview,” says Patta. “Although there has been certain highlights.  Most recently was the Leonard Chuene confrontation.  When we exposed his Caster Semenya gender test lies.  You don’t often get an opportunity to get such a clear-cut way to expose somebody.  Another was the interview with General Andrew Masondo, think it was in 2001, he was the head of the ANC’s veterans programme for the Defence Force at the time. He reacted so badly on-air after I confronted him about his gross misconduct.”

Tipping over the rocks under which such high-powered and ruthless law breakers live must surely pose a certain amount of risk?  “I think people exaggerate the dangers that we are under,” Patta says. “We are wise and sensible and don’t do anything stupid.  We take calculated risks.  If I have a bad feeling about something I will not go in.  Occasionally we use security guards. Not often though as it is too off-putting.  I have always maintained that the best place to hide is under the lights. Once you are out there in the open, what can people really do?  So you have to be quick to get the story to air.  I guess there still is a certain amount of risk involved.  I think it is harder dealing with the emotional impact; the tragedy of some stories.”   Patta recalls fighting back the tears whilst interviewing Debbie Addlington as she described how her husband axed her three young children to death before turning on her.

“But I’ve been doing this a long time.  So I am very used to the emotional aspects,” says Patta. “I have very strong coping mechanisms and a supportive family.  I exercise a lot and make sure that I stay very, very healthy.  All these things help me deal with the stress.”

3^rd Degree has a very active Facebook page filled with robust debates which at times end up in vicious insults being traded.  “I must be honest, sometimes I find the level of debate on Facebook quite juvenile,” says Patta with a hint of irritation in her voice. “And other times it’s really good.  The audience that debate on our Facebook page is very different to our hardcore loyal fanbase; a lot younger.  I think you can get too hung up on what’s happening on Facebook.  Sometimes if you read Facebook you think we are on the brink of a civil war.  Whether it is good or bad it gives people a chance to interact with the show.”

Patta says she does not think television will ever lose its wow factor.  “At the end of the day an opinion piece in a reputable newspaper carries more weight than a blog,” she explains.  “And an incredible story on CNN is infinitely preferable to the stopping and stuttering of YouTube. You’ve got to work the two hand in hand.  I think there is a great need for quality investigative journalism.  I remember thinking if we make it to 2010 I will be thrilled.   Now that we are here I think we are just getting going.  One thing we’ve learned after democracy is that we are not short of stories in South Africa.  I think there will always be a role for a show like 3^rd degree, whether or not I am involved, I would hope that a brand like this would continue.”

Astrid Stark

Theatre review: Let’s talk about sex

LETS TALK ABOUT SEX.  Directed by Rob van Vuuren. With Jo Wharmby. At Beefcakes until 29 May ASTRID STARK reviews

First published in Cape Times, 25 May

Today’s lesson is not for children.

Buckle up for a wild no holds barred lesson about sex and all things sexy in comedienne Joanne Wharmby’s one-woman show.  Armed with only a flipchart, filled with dirty pictures, and an enigmatic personality, Wharmby takes us on a saucy sex-fuelled rollercoaster ride.  It is not always a pretty story but it sure is funny.  The camp and slightly Vaudevillian atmosphere of Beefcakes Burger Bar is an ideal venue for a show which will have you squirming in your seat.

When Joanne Wharmby was in her twenties, she was run over by a double-decker bus.  She decided to turn this devastating accident around.  “Seeing as they pay you for getting run over in England,” Wharmby says. “I then got to travel and live all over the world throughout my 20’s generally having a wonderful time, and shagging a United Nations worth of men whilst I was at it.”  At this point you might want to dismiss her as a bimbo, but there is a little more to her than that.

Ten years after the accident she was living in Sydney, still in pain and walking badly, when she met a Hellerwork practitioner who helped turn her life around.  Hellerwork assists with the re-alignment of the body’s posture and teaches people to move more gracefully.  Wharmby has since been helping other woman restore their body confidence and sensuality.

 “My own interests in Tantra, the fact that I’ve shagged 51 men along with my knowledge of body mechanics, oh and the complete lack of an embarrassment gene, meant that friends and clients have always come to me to talk about sex.” says Wharmby.   She started writing a book about her experiences but soon realized that she wanted to speak to people directly and mostly she wanted to make people laugh.

As this is a family paper I will not go into the technical bits of Joanne’s show suffice it for me to say that she takes no prisoners and leaves no single taboo unexposed.  And yes she is relating her own personal sexual experiences which ads a kind of brutal, eyes-popping, reality to the performance.   Every aspect of sex and its accompanying and sometimes embarrassing bodily functions are dissected, turned inside out, and often ridiculed.  Her show makes you cringe, in-between gulps of laughter, and flushes of embarrassment.  It’s not exactly a sexual revolution, but she does remind us how funny sex can be, and how important and cathartic a good sense of humour between the sheets can be.   Wharmby also gently explores the non-sexual aspects of what makes a relationship tick.  Add to this the fact that she chooses to wear a short skirt which shows of her mangled legs in the spotlight, and you have a rather burlesque performance.

Wharmby is neither afraid nor embarrassed to show and tell all.  Her main point being that everybody has sex, yet bizarrely there is such a general reluctance to talk about it. The show is probably not for the faint-hearted or the squeamish. Funny-man Rob van Vuuren’s direction is fast-paced and edgy and it ensures that the laughter is neatly interspersed with moments of seriousness.   Let’s talk about sex has just been accepted for Edinburgh Fringe where Jo will perform from August 5-29.

* Tickets are R80.00.   Shows run from 20h30 and only on Fridays and Saturdays.  To book, call 021 425 9010

Theatre review: Waiting for Godot.

Waiting for Godot

Starring:  Oscar Petersen, David Isaacs, Graham Weir, Martin le Maitre and Gabriel Marchand 

Director:  Damon Galgut, Stage manager:  Leila Bloch

at The Little Theatre until 5 June. ASTRID STARK reviews

First published in Cape Times, 24 May 2010

At last, the moment that fans of Samuel Beckett and lovers of all things existential and absurd have been waiting for has arrived.  Damon Galgut, who has published 7 novels, directs Waiting for Godot which has opened to a packed audience.  I saw this play for the first time in London as a 21 year-old country mouse from the Eastern Cape who was raised on church and school musicals, and it blew my mind.  I understood nothing of it, yet it made perfect sense   Years later I am delighted to find that the enjoyment of the play has only deepened and the South African adaptation of it goes down rather well.  Galgut’s direction of Beckett’s dense and complicated text is firm yet filled with compassion and gentle humour.  The duo of Oscar Petersen and David Isaacs play the two friends, Vladimir and Estragon respectively.  The wretched pair is trapped inside a seemingly meaningless game of waiting for a person called Godot.  It’s no spoiler to say that Godot never arrives and we are never told who he is.  Whilst waiting the friends meet Pozzo, a cruel slave driver, and his slave absurdly called Lucky, who break the monotony with a little heartless song and dance between master and servant.  And that is really all that happens, yet you find yourself afraid to blink in case you miss anything.

The play has been referred to as a good example of the Theatre of the Absurd which often sees its characters trapped by unseen or unexplained forces.  The characters struggle to make any sense out of a seemingly senseless situation.  However, like quicksand, the more they struggle the deeper they sink into the banality of it all.   The play takes place in two acts and the only props are a tree, suitcases, a chair and a rope. 

It would all be very dismal and depressing if it was not for Beckett’s sharp wit and pathos that gently disperses the shadows to the corners of the stage.  The two friends spend their time pondering the meaning of life and the absurdity of having to live it.  Isaac’s character is melancholy, “Pity we don’t have a bit of rope,” he laments, “Remind me tomorrow to bring a bit of rope.” However, he seems overwhelmed by apathy and is incapable of taking action.  Petersen’s character is more philosophical about their situation as he contemplates religion and their role inside the world and the nature of this Godot.  For all his speculation and intelligence he too seems to go around in circles.  Isaac and Petersen’s experience of working together seems to have created a deep bond which is made visible in their body language and the empathy towards each other’s characters. Their monotony is broken by the arrival of Martin le Maitre as the slave driver and Graham Weir as the luckless Lucky.   Le Maitre is perfect for this role as his character alternates between brutality and self-pity.  Graham Weir’s delivers an astounding performance as he transforms himself into the slave.  The delivery of his speech is fantastic. 

A criticism would be the costume design of the two friends.  They are dressed in black suits with bright pink and yellow and green patches sewn onto it. It feels too obvious and one dimensional to dress them as clowns – although it is one aspect of their personalities.  They are you and me, philosophers, fools, representatives of humanity.  Or if you really want, as Carl Jung philosophised them, they are the anima and the masculine principles of the archetypical personalities. 

The beauty of Godot is that you may allow the characters to be precisely who and what you want them to be. How you perceive them is quite possibly affected by the filters that you have acquired through your living years.  Some people speculate that Godot has a very religious meaning yet Beckett scoffed at that and often suggested that the word comes from the French slang for boot, godillot.  I would venture a guess that the only thing that we know for certain about Waiting for Godot, is that we really don’t really know anything and perhaps this is the beautiful absurdity of the play. 

The end

The Cyclotronic Till

The Cyclotronic Till

 

Onlyness turned inside out,

Poking at it with a sharp stick it is.

It has no smell

It is going nowhere.

It is here always

Like a best friend,

or a cancer.

Like the Borld Wank

the eternal enemy

I know its face intimately

We are best mates.

Buddies for life

armstrong locked in a Mexican friendship ring

It never has to call

But I always answer.

We know the routine.

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atom heads

shoot writers’ thoughts at each other

until they split into laughter and trembling bright texts.

l and my own!

beautiful wishes

transmogrified to silver fishes 

not unlike your survival Soirée

energy

is

a survival story

time

illustrating

friends

obsessed but always feeling the poke of Onlyness’ stick.

Theatre Review: The Ugly Noo Noo,

Review:  The Ugly Noo Noo, Between the Teeth, and Mistero Buffo.

Directed by:  Janice Buckland

Cast – Andrew Buckland

Review:   Astrid Stark

First published in Sunday Independent 16 May

Master of mime and transformation not to be missed.

As soon as Andrew Buckland returned from performing in Las Vegas with the Cirque du Soleil, he said to his wife Janice, ‘I am going to do five shows; concurrently!’  Janice did manage to talk him out of it – to a degree.  Buckland played the role of St Pepper in the Cirque du Soleil’s production of Love. 

He is currently performing two of his own works, The Ugly Noo Noo and Between the Teeth, as well as the Nobel Prize-winning Italian theatre maker Dario Fo’s Mistero Buffo, in repertory. All three pieces are one-man handlers and are presented as a combination of comedic clowning, political satire, and physical theatre.  His wife directs all three. Buckland says his experience in Las Vegas has left him invigorated and inspired, he felt ‘invincible’.

Andrew Buckland in The Ugly Noo Noo photo by Bevan Davis

The Ugly Noo Noo was performed for the first time in 1988 and it has since received 17 national and international awards for the script, direction and the performance.  In this play Buckland explores the mythology of fear; our own terrifying battle with irrational and crippling fear.  At the time when he wrote the play he raged with his own personal fears, which included the struggle against a bigoted Government, which he illustrates as a life size battle between a man and a Parktown Prawn.  

The Parktown Prawn, which is actually a type of small pink cricket, inspires fear in people because of its creepy appearance and its aggressive self-defense methods.  During the play a man discovers a fleshy, living underworld, underneath his lawn whilst mowing it.  He starts exploring this otherworld and soon finds himself battling against being sucked into it; which symbolizes man’s inner and outer struggles.  Buckland’s character eventually tumbles down into this world with an act of physical theatre that suspends belief.  The man finds himself trapped in a glass jar with the Parktown Prawn and this is where things get really weird and interesting.   Buckland takes on the role of a grown man trying to kill the Parktown Prawn out of his irrational fear. Meanwhile the poor creature had been elected by his own kind to find ways to communicate better understanding and harmony amongst different species.   The man cannot understand the creature and he sprays it with insecticide, which only gets the Parktown Prawn ‘high.’  He whacks the critter with a shoe and a leg goes flying. It sounds funny, and it really is.  We were screeching with laughter.  However, underneath the surface the message is clear; miscommunication, irrational fear of little understood cultures and intolerance, breeds hatred and destruction. Buckland is a master of transformation as he slips in and out of the various characters. The stage is bare and he is only dressed in a pair of shorts and a T-shirt – allowing his body to freely communicate his ideas through movements and clowning.  

Between the Teeth continues this exploration of fear, and adds to it the power and consequences of distorted truth, and the relationships, and disparities, between gesture and word.  Again Buckland masterfully creates believable characters on stage and showcases his phenomenal technical skill.  A dodgy insurance salesman convinces a young couple that their newly born baby has a good chance of its arms and legs falling off.  He offers the distraught couple an insurance deal which is obviously corrupt.  Buckland sets the mood of the play so well that you can almost see the dark brown balding furniture and the cheap wallpaper of the poor white couple’s home which has been invaded by the sleazy salesman. 

It is the third production, Mistero Buffo, which is set to ruffle religious feathers.  The work was written around the mystery plays and it combines social and political satire with the burlesque comedy of Italian medieval plays.  It was first staged in 1969, and televised in 1977 amongst great controversy – think Monty Python’s Life of Brian.  It is a no holds barred onslaught against religious fervour and oppression between the upper classes.  The references to the baby Jesus, his parents, and the peasants are filled with satirical humour and scathing social commentary.  On the surface it may appear to the easily offended as an outright attack on Christianity but the multiple layers are far more complex than that.  Buckland’s character as a young Jesus is an outcast. All he wants is to play with the other boys, but he is rejected until he turns a clay bird into a real creature. The kids demand that he animates their clumsy versions of clay birds.  There is a snake bird, a turd bird and even a cat cake bird; it has the body of a cake with a cat’s head and several wings.  Under pressure Jesus makes all the birds fly and of course the cat cake bird eats all the other birds.  Does this not illustrate the greedy and destructive nature of mankind rather than attack the nature or character of Jesus?  It would be shame to avoid this powerful and brilliant performance if you are religious and are afraid of being offended as it appears to be able to offer so much more.

The only problem with Buckland’s three plays is deciding which ones to go and see.  I would suggest taking time out of your social schedule and reserving your seat for all three performances of this multiple award winning actor.

Astrid Stark

Inkosi Albert Luthuli Convention Centre gearing up for INDABA.

Inkosi Albert Luthuli Convention Centre gearing up for INDABA.

First Published in The Event (www.theevent.co.za)  April 2010

From 8-11 May, tourism operators, exhibitors, local and international visitors, and media from across the world will descend on balmy Durban for the annual INDABA. The INDABA, which has won the award for Africa’s best travel and tourism show for two consecutive years, will again showcase a wide variety of South Africa’s finest tourism products and services. 

At the time of going to print the exhibitor statistics were still slightly down from last year.  However the organisers say that there is traditionally a spike in applications closer to the time and they are confident that there will be a strong attendance. Last year’s overall attendance stood at 12,177.   Kagiso Exhibitions and Events has listed 1601 exhibitors to date. 

The new South African Tourism CEO, Thandiwe January-McLean, and the premier of KwaZulu Natal, Dr Zweli Mkhize will officiate at the opening ceremony.

INDABA Thandiwe January-Mclean

This year’s INDABA is highlighting cultural tourism where visitors are encouraged to immerse themselves in the national culture by interacting with the local people. Visitors are encouraged to spend time with locals in their homes, to eat their food, and immerse themselves in the many rich African traditions and rituals. Many of the exhibitors will be showcasing heritage routes, indigenous music, crafting, and African retreats.   Exhibitor categories include accommodation, tour operators, game lodges, transport, online travel, media publications and industry associations. Outdoor exhibitors include transport, camping and safari companies.  Exhibitors from across the country will travel to Durban to showcase their services and products.

The organisers have promised a much better media centre this year.  Media will now be hosted at a new venue in the ICC to accommodate a larger contingent of journalists than previous years.

South African Tourism started a greening program for INDABA, which was implemented during 2009.  According to organisers, last year’s INDABA showed a marginal environmental performance improvement of 3%.  Energy consumption decreased by 15%, water consumption increased by 1.5%, and the overall primary carbon impact decreased by 26 tons.

Some of the 2010 highlights will include the Emerging Tourism Entrepreneur of the Year Award (ETEYA), which is an initiative by South African Tourism to empower upcoming tourism entrepreneurs. It takes place 7 May and the overall winner will walk away with R100 000.

The Welcome Awards will also reward service excellence in the tourism sector and will take place 9 May. For the first time SA Tourism has introduced the Consumer Choice Award which allows the public to nominate a business which the feel offers excellent service, value for money and overall high performance standards.

Among some of the other highlights include an African Sun breakfast, a Good Safari Guide dinner function, SAA’s CEO Breakfast, a global media face-off,  a ministerial meeting with MEC’s and a Cape Town and Western Cape Media Trade Event.

The opening ceremony will celebrate a month to go to until the start of the much anticipated World Cup.  Thandiswe January-McLean says although the focus is on the World Cup, they are also paying attention to the period after all the excitement has died down. “Our global competitiveness has never been more keenly observed than it will be in the next two months,” says Thandiswe. “Our hospitality, helpfulness and service matter now more than ever. The World Cup offers us a unique and extremely valuable marketing opportunity. What we do, and how we deliver, over the next few months will determine the legacy for our industry and the reward that we will reap from this event.”

Organisers say they have invited the Durban Mayor, the Premier of KwaZulu Natal and the Minister of Tourism to speak, and they are still waiting for confirmation.  Details of the celebrations and entertainment were not available at the time of going to print.

The 2010 INDABA is owned by South African Tourism and organised by Kagiso Exhibitions and Events. It will be held at the Inkosi Albert Luthuli Convention Centre – previously the Durban International Convention Centre – which can accommodate up to 10 000 delegates.
THE END